Shifting Worlds
by zeitgeistx
Summary: On a full moon night, she found a girl playing the piano in the middle of the forest. But between infinite worlds, they were destined to be together and forever apart. Shiznat. AU.


**A/N: **Hello everyone! Surprised? :)

I have a confession to make. I actually started writing this story in 2012, back when I was having a terrible writer's block for MTIM. Then I got a writer's block for this story too, so it ended up languishing in my computer folder for the next 2 years, until I came across it again recently, and decided that since I've sunk so much time into writing it, I might as well sink even _more _time into finishing it! Lol.

Anyway, it was meant to be a short-ish one shot, but somehow or other it became this neverending (to me) story, because I'm hopeless like that. And it's not meant to be scientifically accurate (just in case any of you science aficionados start throwing a fit about it).

Enjoy.

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><p><strong>Shifting Worlds<strong>

_Do you believe in parallel universes? _

* * *

><p>I can't remember how old I was then. Maybe seven, maybe eight, but in any case long ago enough that things appear through a frosted glass, and you are no longer certain which part is your memory and which part is your imagination. What is fact, what is fiction.<p>

I grew up in a mountainous area at the outskirts of Shizuoka prefecture, an area called Fuuka. In fact, I still live there. And Fuuka is actually the name of the nearest town, which is a half an hour drive away. My father, an astrophysicist, works at an observatory perched on the mountainside, so we made our home a short distance away, right beside the forest. The name of the observatory is Gekko Observatory, or in other words, "Moonlight Observatory".

When spring comes, blooming flowers cascade down the mountainside, drawing a fair number of sightseers and hikers. They do not disturb us much, as the facility is not open to public and can only be reached by a narrow road that few have knowledge of. Even then, I would watch from my window the tour buses as they made their steady ascent up the long and windy path, their passengers hopping on and off at the various scenic spots to take pictures.

In winter, however, the ground freezes and the landscape suddenly becomes harsh and unapproachable. The roads are known to get icy and slippery then, causing the number of visitors to dwindle. What they do not know though is that as the sun sets, a pinkish-orange glow spreads through the valley, piercing through the barren trees and bathing the mountain range in golden light. In my opinion, the sight easily rivals the blooms in spring.

But I'm digressing. More important than that, I prefer winter to spring, because it was then that I first met her.

* * *

><p>My father was hard at work that night, writing furiously in his study on the second floor of our house. I fiddled with my binoculars as I knelt on my bed, the moonlight streaming through the window in front of me so bright that I didn't even have to switch on the lights. The binoculars were my birthday present from my father. I peered through it and looked at the sky, but the twinkling specks did not appear much bigger. Nevertheless I didn't really know the difference, and fancied myself to be studying the stars like my father did. After swinging my shoulders left and right, I glanced down, my gaze sweeping across the trees in the nearby woods. Just then, I spotted a flash of white between the trees. I pressed my binoculars against the window.<p>

Yes, something white was between the trees.

I don't know how I summoned the courage to do so, but perhaps it is true that fear comes with age. The young child that I was, I was dauntless. I climbed down my bed and made my way quietly down the stairs. Having put on my dark blue coat, I stepped into my boots, clumsily pulling them up my ankles before fastening the zip. Satisfied that I had gotten dressed as properly I could, I walked towards the door and reached upwards for the handle. It was my lucky day – my father had forgotten to lock the door.

I nearly tripped as I stepped off the doorway onto the snow, and took a moment to steady myself. There were just a few street lamps around my house, but once again the full moon provided more than enough illumination. To be safe though, I had brought along the torchlight from our kitchen cupboard. As I trudged forward in the snow, I could feel my heart thumping against my chest.

I had wandered into the forest several times before. It was quiet, but I had never found it spooky. Again, it could have been because I was a child. Or it could also be because I was so used to silence that it didn't alarm me. As my mother passed away when I was merely an infant, I spent most of my time with my reclusive father up in the mountains with no other children around. I was attending school in town, but even then I kept to myself and hardly spoke to anyone else. There was a girl, Mai, whom I sort of got along with, and who will later become my closest friend. Other than that, however, silence was my constant companion.

It was after several minutes of stumbling in semi-darkness that I began to become afraid. I had no idea where I was going, and for all I know I could have been going around in circles. The dim sense of security provided by my torchlight faded, and suddenly I was seized by the urge to cry. I wanted to be home. I wanted to be back in my comfortable bed again.

Just as the tears were threatening to leak out of the comers of my eyes, I heard a sound drifting from a distance. I stopped moving at once, my ears straining to make out the melody. It sounded like someone was playing the piano. It never occurred to me that it was strange that I could hear the piano in the forest; I was simply glad that someone was nearby. I immediately rushed forward, my fears temporarily forgotten. The foliage thinned, and eventually I came to clearing.

What I saw was something I would never forget. A girl in a cream-coloured dress sat before an aged grand piano, her head bowed and her fingers running lightly over the keys.

In my shock, I uttered a sound. The girl jerked her head up at once, her eyes widening for a few seconds before her expression turned placid. Even till today, I'm amazed at how extraordinarily composed she was for a child.

She stood up slowly. "Why are you in my house?"

I stared at her blankly. What did she mean by her house? All I saw were trees around us.

"What house?"

Her brows creased a little as she continued to observe me, which in turn caused me to become increasingly uneasy. Eventually she stepped away from the piano and walked steadily in my direction. As she moved closer, I vaguely noted that she was very pretty. Her long and slightly wavy brown hair was tied in a side ponytail, drawing attention to her fine features and her almond-shaped eyes. And then there was the colour of her irises. It was so peculiar that the closest word I could find to describe it was "burgundy". Much as I wanted to look away, her gaze continued to hold me captive.

At last, when she was within an arm's length reach from me, my panic won over and I took a step back.

She raised her arm, as if to stop me from running. "Wait!"

I froze in my movement, unsure of what to do next. When she saw that I did not escape, she spoke again. "Why… Why are you crying?"

The realisation hit me only after a while. "I—I'm not crying!" I retorted as I quickly retreated backwards and rubbed my eyes with my forearm.

She giggled.

"I said I'm not!" I repeated hastily.

She said nothing, and merely wore the same serene smile on her face as I desperately tried to wipe my face clean of tears.

"My name is Shizuru. What's yours?"

I hesitated, but only for a fraction of a breath's time.

"Natsuki."

She looked down at the ground, her lips parting slightly as if she was trying out my name on her tongue.

Curiousity was burning within me. No longer able to hold myself back, I sputtered, "Where are you from?"

Shizuru shifted her attention back to me. "I'm from Fuuka."

I was flummoxed. "But I've never seen you before. I live just there—" I pointed in the direction that I came from.

And when I spun around again, she was gone, along with the grand piano, and the black bench. Only the snow-covered clearing remained, and even then, there were no traces of anyone having been there.

This was the first of our encounters over the years. As time passed, I would learn that Shizuru is a year older than me. I would learn that she has an elder brother who is much older than her, and who was already married and living in another city. I would learn that her father was a retired army general, while her mother has tended to the house for most of her life.

I would also learn that we come from different worlds.

* * *

><p>It was already spring when I saw her again.<p>

The morning after our first meeting in the forest, I had asked my father whether he knew of a girl named "Shizuru" who lived nearby. He said he didn't, with such a frown on his face that I didn't press him any further. But it didn't mean that my curiousity abated. Or that I stopped visiting the forest, in the hope of catching another sight of her.

I was both excited and afraid, when I finally found her. I was convinced that she was a ghost, as how else did she disappear into thin air?

My palms clutched the bark tightly as I hid behind a tree, my head poking out slightly so that I could observe her from a safe distance. I was at the same clearing as before, and she was playing once more on the grand piano. The soft melody drifted in the air while I tiptoed from one tree to another. The moisture from the ground was seeping into my canvas shoes but I didn't pay it any attention, I just wanted to get a closer view of the ghost.

Her back was facing me. If only I can get closer…

There was a loud crack as a branch broke in half.

The playing stopped. "Natsuki?"

I swallowed hard, my body seeming to have lost its ability to move. What horrible things will the ghost do to me now?

Shizuru turned, and a wide smile lit up her face when she saw me. "Natsuki," she called as she rose from her seat. "It's really you. I was wondering where you ran off to."

And for some inexplicable reason, I became angry.

"What—what do you mean? I turned around and you were gone." My voice was a little shaky, but I seemed to forget that she was a ghost. "It is not polite to disappear halfway while speaking to someone," I added. That was what my father taught me, though he was probably not referring to actually vanishing on the spot.

The girl was making her way towards me, and she hesitated when she heard my words. "Disappear?"

I nodded, feeling rather smug at the little lecture I had given her. "You… Are you a ghost?"

She looked dumbfounded for a moment, and laughed. Her voice was like bells tinkling in the breeze. "No, I'm not. Are _you_?"

"Of course not!" I harrumphed.

"But you're the one who disappeared."

I blinked. "I didn't! I was telling you that I live over there." I would have pointed out the direction, but I had learned my lesson from the previous time and decided to keep my gaze on the girl in case she did another vanishing act.

She tilted her head slightly, looking thoughtful. "Is there a way you can prove it?"

I scratched my head. "Ummm… Oh, I know! You—you can touch me."

"Touch you?"

"Yes. You can't touch a ghost, your hand would just pass through them." I had overheard the kids at school saying so.

"Really?"

I was quite proud of myself for knowing so much about ghosts. "Of course."

"Here," I continued as I stretched out my palm. For some time she peered at me, before placing her own on top of mine.

Her hand was warm.

* * *

><p>By the time I was thirteen, I had met Shizuru a grand total of twenty-seven times. I know, because I recorded in my diary every single occasion that we met.<p>

I entered junior high school that year, and it seemed as though the world had turned on its head. Other than growing taller and leaving my hair long, such that it reached the small of my back, I felt no different from my younger self. The same, however, couldn't be said of my classmates, who had seemingly transformed over the summer. Gone was the sworn enmity between the boys and the girls; suddenly people were stealing glances at each other in class, turning beet red for no apparent reason and making stuttering "confessions". Suddenly the only thing that Mai wanted to talk about was a boy called Yuuichi from the class next door. Suddenly I found myself dealing with much more unwanted attention than usual.

I had always had trouble fitting in during elementary school, but in junior high school I was a complete outsider.

Despite seeing her only every few months in a year, Shizuru was the person that I was most comfortable with. In fact, sometimes I wonder if she understood me better than I did. She seemed to always know the right things to say, and would wait patiently for me to find the words to express myself. Even on those days when I did not feel like speaking at all.

With the changing seasons, she grew up too—her face got thinner and she became taller—and although I pretended not to notice, I did. To my relief, the mischievous gleam in her eyes never left, and neither did her soft smiles nor her calming voice. It is true that I was subjected to her merciless teasing for far too many times, but her words never offended me, not really. I couldn't find the heart to be, and secretly, I liked the way her face lit up when she delivered her punch lines.

Although I got to know Shizuru better, our meetings remained a mystery. One thing that I couldn't fathom was how she would always end up disappearing in a blink of an eye, literally. Regardless of how many times it has happened, I couldn't get used to it. There was one occasion when I was so adamant to catch her in the act that I refused to blink for the entire night. Needless to say it was a pathetic attempt, and Shizuru had laughed so hard that tears came to her eyes, before she disappeared, again.

Another thing that puzzled me was how our meetings would always take place at night, and only when there was a full moon. Their significance was lost to me, but it soon became a nightly ritual for me to spy at the forest through my binoculars.

Meanwhile, I tried telling my father and Mai about Shizuru. However there was no way they would ever believe me, not when my father gave me this look that verged between irritation and concern, and Mai appeared as though she was choking on a watermelon. I think my father eventually brushed off my eccentric behaviour by assuming that I was merely _extremely_ interested in star gazing, as he bought me a telescope shortly thereafter.

Gradually I lost interest in trying to tell anyone about Shizuru.

She was my ghost, and mine alone.

* * *

><p>I was fifteen, and Shizuru was sixteen.<p>

I had dashed into the forest upon seeing the flickering light amongst the trees, slipping on my boots and jacket with familiar efficiency. Sometimes our meeting would last for a couple of hours, but mostly it was far less than that. There was even once when I only managed to catch a fleeting glimpse of her back as she played on the piano.

It had caused my gut to twist in the most unpleasant way, and I wasn't going to allow that to happen again.

By then I knew the forest path by heart, and as I approached the clearing I forced myself to slow down into a walk. Four months had passed since I last saw her, but it felt like a lifetime ago. Having smoothed the creases on my sweater—we were in the midst of autumn—I stepped out from behind the foliage.

"Natsuki," she called, even though her back was facing me.

I stifled the grin that was threatening to split my face. "Shizuru."

So that I would be able to spot her more easily in the darkness, I had suggested that she place a lamp on her piano. The light spilled from the glass lamp, outlining her with an orange glow.

She was wearing a pair of jeans and a purple sweater. While she stood up from the bench and stepped away from the piano, in a poised and elegant manner that was unbefitting a sixteen year old, I noticed that she had grown taller once more, to my dismay.

Nevertheless her eyes were shining as she came towards me, and it was impossible for me to stay grumpy.

"How do you always know that it is me?" I queried. Shizuru had an uncanny way of knowing when I was there, no matter how lightly I treaded on the forest floor.

"I know how your footsteps sound like." Her lips curled higher. "And who else can it be? A ghost?"

She was obviously teasing me about that one time when I accused her of being a member of the supernatural. On hindsight, the incident was quite silly. "It can be both," I smirked, "it can be Natsuki the ghost."

This caused her to arch an eyebrow. She took another step towards me.

"Then I guess we'll have to test it out..."

Before I could respond, Shizuru wrapped her hand around my cheek.

Her act took me by surprise. I was uncomfortable with gestures of affection, and she was aware of it. But for some reason I did not flinch away that day and stared back at her dumbly instead, vaguely registering the warmth emanating from her palm and the gentle strokes of her thumb.

She was so close I could decipher the dark flecks in her irises, and the individual strands of her long eyelashes.

And then it suddenly struck me that she was vastly different from the girl I had first met all those years ago. Not only has her rounded cheeks been replaced by well-defined cheekbones, the gaze in her large expressive eyes has also morphed into something far more intense and mysterious.

My mouth felt dry.

"Natsuki?" Shizuru tilted her head worriedly. It was as though someone had thrown a bucket of ice water on me.

I blinked, at lost for words. "Uh—"

"Are you alright? What were you thinking about?"

Of course I couldn't say that I was staring at her in the most creepy manner possible, and as my face caught fire, I uttered a hasty, "N—nothing." She appeared unconvinced, so in order to save myself from further mortification, I stomped towards the piano bench and sat.

I had always thought that Shizuru was beautiful. That thought, however, didn't usually come together with a racing heartbeat.

Thankfully, Shizuru seemed to sense my rapidly darkening mood and left the matter as that. I was leaning against the piano, with my arms folded when she came to join me. We sat quietly side by side on the leather seat, as I admired the silvery moon and the glittering stars that blanketed the sky above.

After a while, I shoved the perplexing thoughts to the back of my head, even though they never really went away.

* * *

><p>It was a good year for us, because Shizuru and I met again just a month later, when the trees had shed all of their leaves and the floor was thickly carpeted in hues of yellow, orange and red. This time, I was chattier, if such a word could ever be used to describe me, because I was feeling guilty about my rudeness at the previous meeting. I told her about what had happened during the last few months, but there was nothing much to tell, actually, save that there was a guy called Takeda who was driving me up the wall at school. Shizuru listened quietly, before breaking out in a grin.<p>

"Do you like him?"

"No!" I replied so quickly and so loudly that Shizuru giggled.

"Poor thing," she said, shaking her head in what was meant to be a show of sympathy, however her eyes were filled with mirth. The corner of my lips twitched involuntarily.

"So what about you?" I asked, keen to shift the topic away from my annoying admirer. Shizuru's expression turned somber.

"It's the same," was her simple answer.

I may have a reputation for being reticent, but believe it or not, Shizuru was actually more reserved than me. While she was much better at making conversation, she spoke little about herself, preferring to steer the conversation elsewhere. From what little she revealed, I had gathered that her father was a strict disciplinarian while her mother was a dutiful wife. She was well versed in many things, in art, in music, but playing the piano was the only thing she really enjoyed. Her grandmother had taught her how to play, and had left her the old grand piano in the attic of their family mansion when she passed away. It was the same piano that I would see her playing each time.

"Natsuki," she said softly, her lips lifting up slightly at the edges. I have always been fascinated by Shizuru's strangely melodious voice, and since I'm-not-sure-when, merely hearing her call my name was enough to send my heart fluttering.

"Yes?" I replied, making an effort to keep my voice steady.

"Do you believe in parallel universes?"

Her question stumped me. We had discussed our rather curious circumstances before, but never seriously. Subconsciously I feared that if we started delving into _why _we were meeting, I might discover that everything was just a part of my imagination. And then, Shizuru would disappear forever.

"Umm," I mumbled as I scratched the back of my neck uncertainly, "I'm not sure. Dad seems to think that there are, but I don't really understand how it works."

Shizuru folded her arms and tapped her forefinger thoughtfully against her cheek. "I'm also unsure about the theory behind it. But, think about it, what if there were infinite worlds existing at the same time? What if, that's what is happening? We belong to two different worlds, but for some reason, we are able to contact each other?"

Infinite worlds. They silently shift and collide, and sometimes when they overlap in the right way, a portal opens and allows its hapless inhabitants to stumble into a different universe.

In truth, I had thought about this possibility a long time ago, and have done a lot of reading on this. I had pored through the books in the library, trying to find out what might be the reason behind it. Though I have to admit, the books were hard and the explanation did not seem to make sense whatsoever.

What was clear was that we were in two different places at the same time. She was in the attic of her mansion, while I was in a forest. We were restricted by our physical boundaries. Since Shizuru was in the attic, she couldn't possibly walk through walls, no matter how many times I tried to lead her out of the forest clearing.

What was also clear was that even though we were both in Fuuka, in her world, Japan was not just Japan – it was the Nippon Empire, ruled by the monarchy. Kyoto, or what she called Gindo, is the capital. World War I and II happened, but not in the same way at all. As a matter of fact, the Northern Federation was still fighting the East Pacific Alliance. There was no such thing as computers, or the Internet.

Much of our earlier meetings had consisted of us excitedly comparing notes on what was the same and what was different in our history and our lives. I won't deny that the thought arose more than once that perhaps Shizuru was crazy or I was hallucinating, but in my heart I knew, or _prayed_, that it was all real.

It was all real, yet I couldn't cross into her world, and she couldn't cross into mine. We were present, but not really in existence.

Like an apparition, a phantom.

I gave a small shrug, and she turned to look at me curiously. "Isn't it important to find out what's happening?"

Without thinking, the words spilled out of my mouth. "It isn't important, as long as we still get to meet."

"I—I mean," I stuttered, trying to find something to cover my blunder as I dropped my gaze to the ground.

I felt warmth against my hand and immediately looked up. Shizuru had shifted closer to me while I was fidgeting away, and her hand was now clasped firmly around mine. There was a pink tinge in her cheeks—the first time I had ever seen her blush—but before that thought sank in, she leaned forward and pressed her lips lightly against my cheek.

"I think so too," she murmured in my ear.

And as I felt my face burst into flames, I fought the instinct to spring up from my seat and run.

* * *

><p>By the time spring arrived the following year, things had changed.<p>

"You're adorable when you blush," Shizuru said, her eyes curving into crescents.

I huffed, folding my arms petulantly. "I'm not blushing!"

But that only drew another giggle from her.

Ever since my unfortunate slip of the tongue a few months back, Shizuru had steadily stepped up the ante in her teasing, and soon I was barely able to get two sentences in before turning into a human tomato.

She grabbed the sleeve of my cardigan to stop me from turning around. "I'm not blushing!" I reiterated as I glared at her beaming face, while inwardly grimacing at my childish outburst. It reminded me all over again of the first time we met, when I was adamant that I was not crying.

Still, I decided to tilt my head to the side and refuse to look at her.

"Natsuki?" she said, as I continued giving her the silent treatment. "Are you really angry?"

When I made no reply, she ceased tugging at my sleeve and, after further silence, I felt arms slowly snaking around my waist from behind. I tensed.

"I'm sorry…" she murmured as she tightened her embrace and nestled her face in the crook of my neck. "Please don't be angry."

Shivers ran up and down my back. "Shi—Shizuru…" I managed to croak. My throat was parched and I thought I was about to suffer a heart attack. "Shizuru…" I tried again, squirming under her embrace, but not moving so much as to shrug her off.

It seemed that I had also set some kind of precedent when I did not react to Shizuru caressing my face, because her gestures also became increasingly bolder. Every time she reached for my hand or pulled me into a hug, my mind would be sent into a tizzy.

Even so, she was behaving more strangely than normal that night. I racked my brains for the reason why. Besides relating the headache that I was getting from dealing with my admirers—amongst them the infuriatingly persistent Takeda—we had yet to speak about other things.

"What's the matter—"

"I like Natsuki," her breath huffed against my ears.

The gears in my mind screeched to a stop. I gulped. It was not the first time she had said this. Sometimes she would say it in that half-joking tone of hers, the one which confused me to no end. Other times she would say it softly, almost inaudibly. And the rest of the times there were no words at all. I could see it just from her eyes. I never answered her.

I was too scared.

* * *

><p>Thereafter, for almost an entire year Shizuru and I did not meet, in spite of all the nights I stayed up with my binoculars. When the full moons came and went without any sign of her, it dawned on me that I might never see her again, and the thought struck me like a physical blow. I couldn't breathe.<p>

I began losing sleep, tossing and turning in my bed as I resisted the urge to get up and scan the forest one more time. Mai started asking whether I was fine, and even my father, who was generally oblivious to these things, noticed how miserable I was.

In his own awkward manner, he would try to find out what was bothering me. And I would merely shake my head numbly and head back to my room to grab my binoculars.

As if to compensate for Shizuru's absence, I began replaying my memories of her on loop. I would see flashes of her playful smiles while sitting in the classroom, while crossing the road, and while queuing to pay in the convenience store... and my mind would always linger a few seconds longer on those moments when she uttered those three words.

_I like Natsuki_.

I would do anything to hear her say it again.

* * *

><p>When I finally, <em>finally<em> saw the dancing light in the forest, I was so overwhelmed that I was rooted to the ground for a full minute. Then, I ran.

My father was away on a conference in Brussels, so I didn't care for the ruckus that I was creating as I careened down the stairs and burst out of the door. The snow crunched noisily beneath my feet while I practically flew through the woods, ducking left and right to avoid the stray branches and twigs that obstructed my way.

_Please, please, let it be her,_ was the only thought I had.

My heart was hammering in my chest, as my hair whipped around my neck. I didn't think I could deal with another pang of disappointment.

"Shizuru!" I shouted, even before I arrived at the clearing, the sheer anticipation causing my skin to tingle.

And thankfully, I wasn't let down.

The girl I had been thinking about night and day was standing there, right next to the piano. "Hello Natsuki," she greeted, so softly that I barely heard her. With her lips raised in small smile.

Oh how I missed that smile.

I halted just an arm's length away from her, and it was only at that point that I had the chance to look at her properly. As my gaze swept up and down, gliding over the floral patterns on her dress, my stomach clenched. "What happened to you?"

I wasn't just referring to her absence for the past year, but what exactlyhappened to her, because something clearly did. She had lost weight. The hollows in her cheeks had deepened, and there were dark shadows under her eyes. She sighed.

"The war."

She told me about it then, how the Northern Federation soldiers had landed in Ezo and steadily marched southwards. There were fears that Edo would be next to fall, hence her father had insisted that they seek refuge at their relative's place in Naniwa. Fortunately, the East Pacific Alliance managed to push the enemy forces back and reclaim Ezo a few months later, and Shizuru and her family moved back to her mansion in Fuuka.

I listened to her story in stunned silence. She had mentioned to me that there was a war, but I didn't know that it hit so close to home.

"Were you hurt?"

She shook her head, before cracking a wry grin. "Just some minor scratches from scrambling to get on the train to Naniwa. People were really panicking."

I heaved a sigh of relief, plopping onto the piano bench.

The seat shifted slightly as she also lowered herself onto the leather surface. She took my hand, and I glanced up in time to catch the mixed emotions in her eyes before her eyelids slid shut.

"I really missed you."

Something about the way she said it, as though she was unloading a heavy burden, or revealing a dark secret, caused my heartbeat to race again. I swallowed. "I miss you too."

And her eyes flew open. She stared at me in disbelief, and her expression was so comical that I actually chuckled.

"Did that surprise you?"

She nodded mutely. On one hand I marvelled that it was the first time I had seen her speechless, and on the other I was saddened. Did she really think that I wouldn't miss her?

"I... I wondered a lot... about where you had gone," I said, fiddling with the loose thread that dangled at the hem of my shirt. It was an understatement, but the truth was too embarrassing to reveal. "I thought that I would never see you again."

Having gathered my courage, I turned my gaze towards her, at those burgundy eyes that drew me in like a line tugging at my chest. I had promised myself that if I ever got the chance to see her again, I would say what had long been on the tip of my tongue; that if there was anything that her year of absence taught me, it was—

"Shizuru... I like you."

If her gaze was like a tranquil lake, then my words were like a pebble diving into the water, causing ripples on the surface. Her brows furrowed slightly as she seemed to grapple with what I had just said. She blinked once, twice.

"Please say that again?"

Her question threw me off. "W-what? Umm—" My earlier bravado vanished without a trace, and suddenly I was regretting what I had done. Did I read her wrong afterall? "Umm—"

Between fight or flight, I decided on the latter, leaping up from the seat at lightning speed.

But her reflexes were even faster, and she caught my wrists. As she rose from the bench her hands released my arms and moved to my back, and the next thing I knew, her lips were pressed against mine.

When she pulled back, I could see the myriad of emotions stirring in her eyes.

Happiness.

Confusion.

Apprehension.

Fear.

_Is this what you feel? _She was silently asking me.

I smiled, and leaned in to kiss her back.

* * *

><p>One of my favourite memories of Shizuru is during the summer after my first year in college. I had chosen to study at Fuuka University, which was located at the edge of the town but near enough for me to continue living at home. Shizuru had also forsaken her place at Gindo University in favour of another college in Fuuka, although that meant that she had to endure two-hour car rides everyday to get to the campus.<p>

The forest air was humid as we sat in our usual spot on the bench, with our backs resting against the cool surface of the piano. Shizuru was wearing a sundress and her hair was tied up in a low ponytail. I couldn't help sneaking glances at the smooth expanse of skin on her shoulders while she complained about how uninspiring her professor was.

"Natsuki, are you listening to me?"

I jerked, my gaze immediately flitting upwards to Shizuru's face. "Err—yes?"

Her lips twitched, and for a moment I was terrified about what teasing remark she was going to unleash upon me. Between that and being caught staring, I didn't know whether my face should be pale with fright or bright red with embarrassment.

Surprisingly, Shizuru didn't say anything. She merely smirked and dug into the pocket of her dress, before presenting me with a small box.

"Happy birthday."

My birthday was actually a few weeks ago, and I had spent it celebrating with Mai and two other girls, Nao and Mikoto. Those two were still in high school, and for a string of reasons which I'm not going into, Mai had taken on the responsibility of caring for them like a mother hen. Which was fine with me, really, even though Nao was constantly seeking to annoy me with her snide remarks.

As I neatly undid the wrapper of the box, Shizuru snuggled closer next to me and rested her head on my shoulder. The fine strands of her hair tickled my neck while I immersed myself in the scent that was distinctly hers.

I couldn't help but smile.

Finally, the cover of the box came off, revealing a silver necklace which was strung through a ring. The outer surface of the ring was decorated with sketches of what appeared to be the phases of the moon. Both the ring and the necklace were really pretty, and from the fine workmanship, they probably cost a lot.

"Thank you, Shizuru..." I said, enthralled by the intricate carvings on the silver. "But you didn't have to get something so expensive—"

"Shh," she interjected, pressing her finger to my mouth. She reached for the necklace that she was wearing around her neck and when she pulled it out from her dress, I saw the same ring hanging on the chain.

I knew then what she was trying to tell me.

Shizuru had scores of admirers and suitors, maybe even more than I had. Although I desperately tried to hide my displeasure, it actually bothered me very much, especially during those times when we would go for months without seeing each other.

"I'm yours," she whispered, and I felt a lump in my throat.

She leaned closer, her eyelids fluttering shut, and I instinctively did the same, encircling her in my arms. Her lips were so impossibly soft and tender. I traced her lower lip with my tongue, and she gasped. "Natsuki..."

Her lips parted slightly, and my tongue slipped in.

She clung on to my shirt like she was drowning.

* * *

><p>Those were the happiest years of my life. Meeting Shizuru on full moon nights, in the chilly air, in the summer breeze, in the drifting snow. Enjoying the warmth from her hands, playing with the golden strands of her hair, and feeling her lips trail across my skin.<p>

I gladly suffered through the waits in between, because even though it sometimes felt unbearable, I thought that it was worth it, if it meant that I would see her again. I thought that we were unbreakable.

But I was wrong.

It was yet another autumn night.

"I can't do this anymore," she said, her eyes downcast. Her arms were folded across her waist, with her hands gripping at the elbows. I had never seen her so insecure.

"What do you mean—"

"I mean, we can't continue like this, Natsuki. Every time you disappear, I never know when I'll see you again. Whether I'll ever see you again. It's killing me."

"I know—"

"I need you, Natsuki," she choked, and her voice grew thinner. "I need you. I need you..." The tears streamed down her face, and the droplets splattered noisily on the ground.

My chest clenched painfully as I blinked back my own tears. I didn't know what to say. We had been trying so, so hard to find a way to be together, but nothing has worked so far. Nothing, as the years slipped by and our lives moved forward without each other.

On some days I felt so much anger and frustration at the injustice of it all. Why let us meet when we are destined to be forever apart? What future can we have?

But I still held on, because I couldn't lose her.

She sniffled quietly while I stepped forward to hold her, trying my best to physically convey to her how important she was to me. Her skin was usually cool to the touch, but it always felt warm when she was in my arms.

"Natsuki," she began in a small voice, "I can't..."

"I'm real, Shizuru. I'm real."

She pressed her palms against my shoulders and pushed away from me. Her eyes were screwed shut, and her arms were trembling. "You're real in your world. But not in mine."

It felt like a knife had stabbed into me, and was cutting me open. A sudden urge overtook me and I reached out, pulling her roughly into me and crushing my lips against hers.

She made a small gasp in surprise. I secretly celebrated the fact that I had, for once, taken her off guard.

I pushed forward, pining her against the piano. She was mine.

"Natsuki—" she whimpered between heated breaths.

"I'll prove to you that I'm real."

And when the shirt slipped off her shoulders and the cloth fell to the ground, both her world and mine ceased to exist.

* * *

><p>But despite it all, we were powerless against fate.<p>

"They're here." Her fingers grasped the side of her skirt. It was one of the rare signs of nervousness I had ever seen her display. "Edo's defences have been breached. The Federation is advancing southwards everyday. Father tells me that at this rate, they will reach Fuuka in three days."

"What does that mean then? You—" I swallowed hard, forcing myself to choke out the words I didn't want to say. "Are you moving away? To your relative's house?"

"I don't know." She inhaled a shaky breath. "I—I think so, but not to my aunt's place, as Naniwa will also be a target."

"Then where?"

"I don't know…" she repeated.

I couldn't hold back any longer. "But—but what about us?"

"Please understand, Natsuki. My family can't stay here any longer. It's not safe. And my mother is ill, I have to take care of her."

My mouth clammed shut. There was nothing else I could say. I was being selfish. How could I expect her to risk her safety for me? An occasional apparition, no, a rare apparition?

I loosened my grip on her wrists, silently cursing myself when I saw the red marks I had left on her skin. She had merely winced when I grabbed her, but did not resist.

I tried my best to steady my ragged breathing. The most important thing was that Shizuru was safe. Nothing else mattered. "Will you at least let me know where you will be moving to?"

"I…"

"Please. I just need to know."

She peered at me, with a pained look that spelt millions. Did it matter that I know where she was going? I would never be able to find her. I understood that perfectly well, but even then…

"I will try…" she eventually mumbled.

"Don't 'try'. Promise me you'll tell me?"

She wore a pleading look this time, a look that begged me not to force her to make promises that she couldn't keep. Nevertheless my mind was in a mess, and all I wanted, _needed_, was some reassurance from Shizuru that I was not going to lose her.

"Please, Shizuru. Promise me?"

"Natsuki, I…"

I saw her mouth move but I never heard the words, as in the next second, she disappeared.

"Promise me, Shizuru!" I yelled into the thin air, at the empty clearing that surrounded me. It was my one last desperate request.

* * *

><p>I have not heard from her since then.<p>

Was she alive? Was she well? Those thoughts occupied my mind all the time. They wrecked me at night, and I lost count of the number of times that I had woken up in cold sweat from dreams bathed in blood.

As time passed, the dreams became less vivid, and more like a fog that would disperse in the morning, leaving me with no recollection of its details and only an acute feeling of sadness. However it also got to a point that I started to suspect my memories; I was no longer sure whether Shizuru and I had ever met or was our history just a product of a diseased mind.

In the years that followed our last contact, I graduated from college and secured a job at a research facility near Gekko Observatory. Instead of obsessing over my thoughts of Shizuru, I buried myself in research, seeking the answer that had eluded us when I could still hope to see her.

But it wasn't easy, especially when I was locking myself in the room and forgetting my meals to the extent that my workaholic of a father was concerned enough to stop me from working so hard, even getting a friend who is a psychiatrist to drop by on the pre-text of visiting my father. I saw through this ruse, of course, nevertheless it didn't stop the psychiatrist from diagnosing me with depression.

I didn't care about anything except my research, but I couldn't finish it with my father watching me like a hawk. So I pretended to take his advice, and tried my best to socialise. I can still recall the look on Mai's face when I suggested going out for a movie – she looked as though she was on the verge of tears.

In time, my circle of friends grew bigger, but they didn't know that no matter how late I came home from a gathering, I would sit at my desk for at least a couple of hours, scribbling madly, crossing out equations and crumpling the paper in frustration before throwing it roughly in the direction of the wastepaper basket.

They didn't know that I would stay awake on full moon nights, peering at the forest cover through my binoculars, searching the darkness for any unusual presence.

They didn't know that I never stopped grieving.

* * *

><p>It has been ten years now, since I last saw Shizuru.<p>

Ten years of longing, of doubts and of anguish. Ten years of hunching over my desk, ignoring the burning in my eyes as I went through book after book. Ten years of clutching my head in frustration as I delved into the realm of the unimaginable, as my experiments failed again and again.

But I believe that all the pain was worth it, because I have found the answer I was looking for. Because as I leave my last record on this earth, everything has been prepared.

I am ready to cross over to her world.

Whether I will ever return to my own world again, or whether I will even make it out of hers alive, it doesn't matter.

I will find her, I know I will.

* * *

><p><em>Do you believe in parallel universes?<em>

I do.


End file.
